the Brain Scan

My foray into neuromarketing wasn't as fun as I'd hoped. It was definitely an experience with great potential, but ultimately I ended up with burning eyes and a really stiff neck. I arrived pretty early, without eye makeup and with clean, dry hair (despite the rain!). The small office had the most annoyingly loud electric water feature on the back wall that must have driven the receptionist bonkers. A few ladies came out of closed doors to my right and were directed to the bathroom to wash soapy gel dots from their hair. They didn't seem too bothered, especially when they signed for their check. When it was my turn I was called around a partition to be prepared for the session. A lovely lady chatted with me while she measured my head, placed a swimming cap over my hair and plugged various electrodes into it. She also injected a shampoo style gel into holes in the cap and placed 3 sensors over my eye and nose. I was then taken into a room with a giant TV and one comfy chair just for me. She plugged me in and we went through an eye location test where I had to look at a chain of numbers on the screen. There was a camera looking up at me to measure facial reactions and a bank of computer monitors behind me. I got comfortable and prepared to not move for the next 90 minutes as an episode of "Beyond Scared Straight" started up on the TV. The show itself was pretty good, exactly the kind of reality trash I love, so I was thinking then that this was the sweetest money making exercise ever! But then after 40 minutes of the show my neck started to ache and the top of my head felt like it was burning. I'd been asked to move as little as possible which amplified the pain. I really didn't want to jeopardise the $120 and I couldn't smell burning hair so I soldiered on. The last exercise was to push a button when a blue frog came on screen. It went on and on and on until my eyes were blurry. FINALLY it was all over, the cap was removed and I headed home in the rain with my big fancy check. Now if I can only figure out how to cash it....