"Four Loko is no joke-o"

On Monday Jack's GA held it's first staff meeting. In attendance were the crew (Scott, John, Colleen and me) plus the bosses. We closed up the kiosk early and went over the road to BXL, a Belgian beer bar and restaurant. It was a fairly awkward affair with uncomfortable back-slapping mixing in amongst the silences. Our GA crew gets on great and socialises ALOT both on and off site. But somewhere during this meeting our team was muted by uncertainty and the odd combination of business and pleasure. It was just weird because we all had gripes and concerns but found no platform to discuss them because we were showered with compliments and bought our dinner. But enough about that (although I'll mention I had spaghetti carbonara and two glasses of Pinot Grigio to go with my discomfort).

When the meeting mercifully ended the bosses went on their way and we were left on the sidewalk considering our next move. Drinks. Immediately. There was also a big vote for air conditioning. We found a bodega around the corner and in my quest for cider I stumbled across 4 flavours of Four Loko. Four Loko is a brand of mixed drink in a giant can, somewhat like a UDL. The actual alcohol ingredient is a malt liquor mystery but it's content is a brutal 12%. The "Four" refers to 4 ingredients - alcohol, caffeine, guarana and taurine. The reason this bodega discovery was so exciting is because the drink has been the subject of many-a-joke over the last couple of months. I won't divulge the full details, I'll just say that someone we know had a crazy experience with Four Loko where they woke up in hospital. It doesn't sound so funny I guess......

..........but we bought all 4 anyway. Having been summoned to the party, Timon arrived not long after we settled in. The only reason we ever convene in the city is the air conditioning. The space is tiny and inconvenient, brightly lit and furnished with crates. I picked out the green can (watermelon flavour) and started the journey. Timon caught up quick with a 6 pack of Fosters and we laughed and laughed and laughed until we didn't.


The night wound up around 11.30pm when I couldn't feel my face and Scott almost OD'd on green tea matcha powder. We piled into a cab and collapsed on the bed (Scott on the couch) while the kittens tried in vain to capture our attention. Timon kissed the porcelain god before we went to sleep and I woke up in the middle of the night in a sweat, fighting and defeating the urge to erupt. The moral of the story, so succinctly summed up by Colleen is that "Four Loko is no joke-o". I am still feeling the painful reminders of that night when a $2.50 can of devil juice blew the top of my head.